My dear friend, if you’re reading this, it’s likely your heart is hurting and you’re looking for ways to feel happy, peaceful and confident again.
You thought he was the one.
You thought the search for your life partner was over and maybe you even had a vision board on how you wanted your life to be with your favorite person.
But all of the sudden, the sweet vision you had in mind turned into one of your worst nightmares.
Sweet and gentle words became harsh and humiliating.
Movie nights with him became lonely and filled with tears.
“I love you” was something you said but didn’t hear anymore.
And you accepted these changes hoping that things will eventually improve.
You did everything you could to make it work. But realized that you didn’t occupy any space in his heart and life anymore.
So whether you chose to walk away or you were pushed away, you are now going through an emotional healing journey looking for ways to find yourself again.
You’ve hoped, cried, prayed, screamed, punched a few pillows, stared at your phone waiting for his call…and now you’re starting to accept that it’s time to wipe off your tears, dust off your knees and get up.
You have to get up!
It’s time to accept what is and realize that your love deserves to be reciprocated.
I know it’s tough. I know how much it hurts. But you have to believe that there are brighter days ahead.
You’re a strong, capable, independent and wonderful woman who’s worth so much!
And life is giving you an opportunity to either…
GO through pain or to GROW through it.
It’s your choice.
I’m in this journey with you, and I’ve been making a priority to take care of me in every aspect – emotional, physical and spiritual. This breakup left me feeling shaken and lost, and after so many sleepless nights, I’ve come to the conclusion that in order to heal, I need to focus my entire energy on learning to love myself again.
My friends and family have been a blessing during these tough times, but I know that in order to heal and move on, I MUST go within, acknowledge my wounds and take a holistic approach to finally heal them.
So I’d like to share the things I’m doing that are helping me feel more confident and boost my self-love.
Let’s start with the physical aspect:
BREAKUPS HURT YOUR GUT
You’re already dealing with a lot of emotions and the least you need is to worry about your health. Maybe you’ve lost your appetite, perhaps you’re overeating or maybe a combination of both. Emotional stress directly affects your digestion.
Stress suppresses the production of the digestive juices we need in order to breakdown and absorb foods properly, this can make you feel bloated, gassy and struggle with other digestive discomforts.
And easy way to help your gut breakdown foods better and prevent these symptoms is by taking bitters 15-20 before your meals. Bitters are made of apple cider vinegar and other herbs to help your body prepare for digestion.
I use this brand and carry it in my purse everywhere I go.
Working out, whether that’s lifting weights, dancing, going for a run/walk, whatever it is, just move. Even if it’s 15 minutes a day, you’ll notice your emotions improve. You’ll feel an instant rush of happy hormones running all over. Plus, you’ll feel sexier and more empowered in your own body. The key here is to be consistent!
I use an app called FitOn, where you can choose from a variety of workout styles, duration and strength levels. And the best part is that it’s free. To keep myself accountable and motivated, I share my daily workouts in my stories. And I’d LOVE to connect with you via @nakedflavors_ to share my daily workout/healthy-living inspirational content.
WASH YOUR FACE!
Put on that red lipstick and conquer the world with your beautiful smile. And even better…if you can get pretty without hurting your hormones.
Putting on a little bit of makeup makes me feel better almost instantly. Even if I’m working from home, getting myself ready in the morning makes me feel more confident throughout the rest of the day.
I love the brand Beautycounter for all my skincare and beauty needs, it makes me feel so chic and put-together every day, and the best part it that they are free of hormone-disruptors, carcinogens and allergens that affect your health.
GET YOUR BEAUTY SLEEP
At the beginning of my breakup, sleeping was so hard to do. My mind was running non-stop thinking of what I did wrong, of all the memories, the ways to fix things, dreaming of getting back together…I felt crazy.
When you’re feeling restless and overwhelm with so many emotions, it’s good to help your body calm down and relax.
Lemon balm is an herb that helps reduce anxiety and improves sleep. You can use it as tincture or drink it as a tea before bed. This is the one I use.
Another way to also help your body improve sleeping patterns is by taking Magnesium right before bed. I do both, I take 2 caps of Magnesium and drink my lemon balm tea while reading a book before falling asleep.
I lost a part of who I am in my relationship. I shut down authentic aspects of me because I thought that by doing so it’d make me more lovable and accepted.
For example, I love everything about spirituality, meditating, learning about angels and guides. I’m goofy and random, I love to philosophy about life and I’m way too optimistic at times. But these aspects of me were put aside for a while because I wanted to be more “normal” and compatible.
Since my breakup, I’ve awaken a desire to become more ME than ever before. I realize that I got work to do and in order to heal, I need to go beyond my current romantic situation and learn how to heal my wounds, so my next relationship isn’t simply used a bandaid on wounds that haven’t healed from years ago, or even from childhood.
I give myself 15-20 minutes ever morning to meditate, some days I sit cross legged in silence and other times I look for guided mediations on Youtube. I like Boho Beautiful and also inner child meditations.
I don’t consider myself religious, but I do believe there’s a God, a creator, an energy, however you’d like to call it. There’s a protector seeing what you’re going through and who knows exactly why you’re going through this pain. He will never put you through a situation you can’t handle.
Letting go of someone you love so much hurts in ways that are indescribable, but God knows you have the strength within you to keep moving forward. And I assure you that he has blessings and brighter days ahead for you.
Joel Osteen is a Christian pastor who speaks in ways that really touches my heart. He isn’t churchy, and that’s why I like his videos so much. He gives real life examples that many of us can relate to. Listen to him while you’re getting ready for work, cooking, or whatever the case maybe. I promise, you’ll feel so much better afterwards.
GET TO KNOW YOURSELF
Breakups are an opportunity to refocus on you, to get to know yourself better and regain your self-worth. Breakups are also an opportunity to look deeper within yourself and acknowledge wounds you’ve carried since childhood. Those wounds are expressed in adulthood as lack of confidence, letting people take advantage of you, resentment, jealousy, suppressing your feelings and so on.
After this breakup, I knew that feeling lost wasn’t just because of the relationship ending. This breakup just took the band-aid off of wounds that I’ve been ignoring my entire life. – Emotional wounds that I’ve had with me since I was a little girl.
This time I want to fall in love with myself, learn to respect myself, to become confident enough to say no to things and people that don’t serve my purpose in this world.
To help me get on that path of reconnecting and learning to know myself, I went back to reading books about mindset and spirituality, but I know I need more guidance to navigate this new season in my life. So I joined an online program called Rising Woman, to get to the core of my wounds and make sure they heal this time.
Breakups aren’t easy, disappointments hurt and there are going to be days you feel unstoppable, but there are also going to be moments when you feel you’re not making any progress. The truth is, you’re healing as the days go by. You are moving on.
I hope I can inspire you with my journey and help you realize that you got the strength within you to love yourself again.
With love and gratitude,