I’ve noticed that a lot of woman have a hard time accepting compliments. The common replies usually go something like this…
- Me: “Hey Carmen, that dress looks great on you!”
- Carmen: “Thanks, but I’m so fat.”
OR
- Me: “Sandra, I love how you did your makeup today! You look gorgeous.”
- Sandra: “Aww..thanks! But have you seen my eye bags?? I look horrible.”
Part of me wants to slap them! And at the same time, I want to hug and convince them of how beautiful they truly are.
Why do we do that?
When did we learn to shame ourselves?
Why is it shallow to know, accept and admire our own beauty?
I used to feel like an ugly duck because of other people’s opinions of me.
When I was in my early 20s, I had a boyfriend who used to tell me that my teeth were too big and that I looked like a clown every time I smiled. For years, I used to smile without showing my pretty white pearls. – The nerve of that MOFO!
Other people used to tell me that my butt and boobs weren’t big enough and for that reason, I didn’t feel sexy. I’ve also been told that my nose isn’t pretty and that I should get surgery, and the list goes on…
The things I’ve been told straight to my face, left me shaking my head and with a VERY deep desire to punch those opinionated peeps right on the nose – Bruce Lee style!
Maybe you’ve also been criticized in many ways, and probably you’ve adopted those comments as “accurate” descriptions of your own beauty.
But who are they to decide whether you’re beautiful or not? Who gave them that power?
Many of us have been trained to think that being beautiful means having an hour-glass body, doll face and perfect hair. We’ve been taught that if we want to attract the opposite sex, we must attempt to look like a front-page magazine model, a Victoria Secret angel or a Playboy bunny.
Short or tall; blond, brunette or red head, dark or fair skin, slim or curvy; curly, wavy or straight hair; blue, brown or green eyes; freckles or none…It doesn’t matter! You’re uniquely and purposely beautiful!
During the years I used to suffer with acne, I learned to admire other women’s beauty. I didn’t care about the color of their skin, their weight, age…The simple fact that their faces weren’t covered in blemishes made them beautiful before my eyes.
And even though, I’ve been acne-free for over a decade, I still maintain that same admiration for other women’s authentic beauty.
No other women has your same characteristics, skills, dreams, passions and goals.
You’re the perfect combo!
There’s absolutely no need to compare yourself because you’ll never be like anyone else. You’re unique, there’s only one of you in the world (even if you have a twin!).
Nobody but us, set our own beauty standards. Not the media, not your best friend, not even your mother has the right to define how beautiful you choose to feel.
You set your standards. You decide to feel beautiful because you already are! Beauty isn’t a thing, it’s a feeling that comes from within and gets reflected on the outside.
Everyone defines beautiful in different ways…
To me, being beautiful means being healthy, it’s consciously loving every part of your body, admiring your perfection and being kind to your imperfections.
Beautiful is a sincere smile, confidence, someone who irradiates good energy…Beautiful are those who choose to be a miracle in someone else’s life. – There’s nothing more beautiful and freaking sexy than a kind heart.
When you feel beautiful inside, there is no way you won’t feel beautiful on the outside.
And yes! Work on improving yourself, if that’s what makes you happy.
Eat healthy, workout, pamper and take care of your body. Because nobody is going to do it for you. But do it because taking care of you makes YOU feel good.
The reality is that this vessel is temporary and no matter how much we fight it, we’ll age.
So if you want others to admire you for your beauty, focus on how you’re impacting other people’s lives with your actions and the way you make them feel. Because the day we die – not to sound dark, but that’s part of life – they’ll remember you for the ways you made them smile.
Admiring your authentic beauty isn’t the same as being conceited. It’s knowing that you aren’t broken and that you have a purpose.
Believing that you’re beautiful is being aware of your infinite power and potential.
You and only you can make YOU feel BEAUTIFUL. So don’t depend on others’ compliments to feel good about yourself.
You aren’t just beautiful; you’re beauty itself!
Love yourself, be brave enough to unlearn society’s “beauty standards” and once and for all dare to feel beautiful today and every day.
Sending so much love,
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